I consider the issue at the moment might be summed up merely: folks mistake sympathy for compassion.
Sympathy is feeling dangerous for somebody and wishing they didn’t really feel so dangerous.
Sympathy is noble on the floor (“folks ought to undergo much less!”) however can typically find yourself being subtly self-serving (“folks ought to undergo much less as a result of I don’t need to really feel dangerous for them anymore.”)
Compassion is just like sympathy however completely different in an necessary approach.
Like sympathy, compassion begins with feeling dangerous for somebody. However as a substitute of merely wanting the individual’s struggling to go away, compassion entails somebody who’s keen to undergo alongside that individual in order that they might overcome their challenges.
Sympathy is sending flowers and a card to a buddy when a mum or dad dies. Compassion is driving to their home and holding them as they cry.
Sympathy is letting a screaming youngster have that toy they need so that they’ll cease screaming. Compassion is letting them cry as a result of they are going to be higher off as soon as they perceive that they’ll’t at all times get what they need.
Sympathy is altering your profile image on social media for regardless of the new trigger du jour is. Compassion is definitely giving time or cash to victims, listening to their tales, serving to them rebuild their lives.
Sympathy is an efficient factor. We want it on this planet. But it surely’s additionally simple. It’s short-term and short-sighted. It’s an, “Aw, I really feel dangerous for him.” Sympathy is concentrated on the sensation relatively than the individual. “I hope they really feel higher.”
Compassion is concerning the individual. “I don’t simply hope they really feel higher, I hope they turn out to be higher.” Due to this fact, compassion is extra concerned. It takes extra effort—each psychological and emotional.
Sympathy is attempting to take away as a lot pressure and battle as doable. Compassion is attempting to assist an individual move through a manageable amount of struggle to allow them to develop into a greater individual.
I consider that as a tradition we’re over-optimized for sympathy and under-optimized for compassion. That is most likely largely social media’s fault, but not entirely.
Sympathy is straightforward to speak on-line. It’s additionally simple to see sympathy communicated between others. Compassion is like sarcasm, it’s not communicated nicely on-line. It’s additionally tougher to acknowledge between others.
We’re most likely additionally over-optimized for sympathy as a result of it’s simpler to measure and research. It’s comparatively simple to measure how good/dangerous an individual feels. It’s extremely troublesome to measure whether or not somebody has grown or not.
